A Babel of words

People say you should meet your heroes, but sometimes you could regret what you wish for.

There are many stories of people who meet their idols and turn out to be genuinely horrible.

You might want to meet them, but they won't necessarily be willing to meet you.

The entertainment industry is filled with superficial narcissists with huge egos.

Other famous people have done terrible things to attain and keep their success.

It always saddens me when I hear of children being neglected, abandoned or forgotten by a famous father or mother. Or even children in mitigation for years after a famous parent has passed away, over a slice of the big pie of earnings amassed during a lifetime of touring or working.

I'm sure it's rare to see successful artists without ego who take the time to connect with their fans, actively thanking them and being constantly humble about their work.

There are dozens of examples of famous people having difficulties with their families and those arguing over money and inheritance.

Legendary 1950's comedic actor and director Jerry Lewis was an egomaniac who left behind a stream of endless horribleness. Despite giving money to charities and developing the modern concept of the Telethon to raise funds for worthy causes, he was generally a terrible man to work and live with. He basically disowned his six adult children and first wife, leaving everything to his second wife and adopted daughter. He also had an illegitimate daughter whom he never really acknowledged and who basically died elderly and homeless for most of her life.

Back in my student journalist days, I was able to get a chance to meet Sir Peter Ustinov, who was one of my favourite old-school classic Hollywood character actors from the golden age of cinema. He turned out to be rather charming and open to meeting a couple of clueless and surprised students. We ended up having a lovely conversation with the elderly performer, who was filled with advice and time for the younger generation.

Years after his death in 2004, I was saddened to hear how Sir Peter's six surviving children were in mitigation for years over the estate of the late actor and writer. Sadly most of Sir Peter's trusts which also contained the rights and royalties to everything he wrote and filmed, are not available to the family. Legal fees are eating away at his fortune, and stringent rules regulating the trusts established in Liechtenstein and Switzerland keep everything away from his surviving family.

More recently, in 2017, when one of my favourite American singer-songwriters, Tom Petty passed away suddenly, I was doubly saddened as his daughters from his first wife and current wife immediately plunged into mitigation over his estate. Thank goodness, after several months in court, they were able to reach an agreement.

Being famous doesn't make you immune to human problems like greed, misunderstandings and poor family relations.

Another famous example that comes to mind was from Roy Orbison's life; he had to endure terrible tragedies like the death of his first wife in a motorcycle accident and the death of his two eldest sons in a house fire when he was away on tour. Orbison was a workaholic and focused his energy on performing, writing and recording songs which led him to neglect his surviving son, whom he left to be raised by his grandparents. Even when he later remarried and had another two sons, he practically forgot his first surviving son. While focusing on his big career comeback in the early 90-s, he abandoned his teenage sons, travelling with his wife to LA to work on new projects and collaborations. Later he reconciled with his oldest son before his sudden fatal heart attack, but he never really repaired or addressed the emotional damage caused by the separation. Today, Roy Orbison's sons proudly keep their father's legacy alive and collaborate to promote the Orbison name.

There are so many tales of estranged and abandoned children or the rich and famous, which begs the question, is it all worth it?

It's interesting to reflect on the nature of fame and fortune, whether you need to be pigheaded, arrogant and generally a lousy individual to attain success. Or is it better to be less rich and famous and focus on being a good person while nurturing your family.

What would you choose to do?